As I approach 50, I carry with me a new sense of hope in my search for a partner. Dating has changed immensely as have the rules of dating. My rules are still the old fashioned ones mixed with a contemporary spin. I guess that I cannot have it both ways.!
For me, dating is a means to an end. I am looking for life partner. I thought if I posted enough profiles and kissed enough frogs, that I would eventually find that "special someone" that I was looking for. Still looking!!
The 2nd half of this year, I have decided to focus more on having a quality life and spend more time on just a few new dating services that I have in mind. Spreading myself too think has not worked. Might as well zero in on several and if they don't work, move on to the next!
There are some nice guys out there and have met a few life long friends, just no love interest. There are several free dating services which I really like: Allsinglesmeet.com and Okcupid.com. Both have lots of quality features and members. After all, being able to search for a variety of members is the main draw. If there is no one on a dating site then there is really no reason to be there.
I have been working on my free online dating service, Allsinglesmeet.com for over 2 years now. I have gone from a completely unknown dating service with no experience to a somewhat experienced web site owner with still relative obscurity.
I have calculated that over the past 26 months, I have put in approximately 4,200 hours of painstakingly long hours and stress that has taken it's toll. My fingers some days are stiff and achy from pounding the keys to a voiceless audience.
My latest project is my new dating blog, Successfuldatingpro.com. I decided that it was time to add a fresh new layer to my ventures and adventures and hopefully steer the unknowingly potential victim or perpetrator along a better path. Some say that I have a talent for writing, so time will tell if my audience agrees.
Since I also have a real job, sales person that I am, it is hard at times to fit my other projects into the mix. Unfortunately, I sometimes find myself falling asleep at the computer while typing out my latest thoughts. Most days, I put in about 17 hours of waking motion. Meaning, I don't normally have 10 minutes of relaxation or downtime. The only time that I spend away from work is the drive to and from, and my appointments.
Hopefully, within the next few months I can start to enjoy some of the efforts I have put in place! Vacation is coming up in June and I intend to take a day for just me!
Whether you are looking for indoor activities or things to do during the day, an abundance of ideas is always at hand in Orlando. There are so many theme parks, restaurants, museums and restaurants to keep one busy. Singles can either do things with friends or find a companion or partner to share the Orlando fun with.
Orlando singles are very fortunate to also have great weather and can do practically anything almost year round. Sunshine is always in abundance to keep everyone happy.
There are tons of date ideas such as hiking, biking, picnics at your local park, bistro dining and much more. If you like to workout, their are plenty of gyms and the newest yoga studios which have become so trendy lately. Yoga studios are also a great place for singles to connect.
One thing for certain, Singles in Orlando will never be at a loss for things to do!!
Most dating blogs tend to be geared towards women and Successfuldatingpro.com is no exception. They do however include a section on their dating diary that is Just For Men. The developers of Successfuldatingpro.com realize that men also need tips and advice when meeting women.
Dating has become more confusing since the internet. There are so many different options available for singles to choose from. Successfudatingpro.com offers singles advice on just about every topic. Their love and relationship blog is updated daily to both enlighten and entertain singles.
If you are looking to find love in all the right places, then check out their brand new exciting dating blog. You can subscribe to their latest post and get it in your box daily. For serious daters that have not found Mr. or Ms. Right or just want to see how to keep a relationship fresh and alive, take a look at Successfuldatingpro.com.
I have 2 brothers, one five years my senior and the other is 11 years younger than. My older brother and I do not speak as he has major issues that I refuse to deal with. In my defense, no one else speaks to him except my Mom who dreads his calls and visits.
My younger brother has grown apart from me due to distance and personality differences. I feel the problem is him and who knows what he really thinks. He does have 2 great kids but unfortunately a wife I cannot deal with.
His wife actually has snubbed me the past 2 times that I came to visit them. We live over 400 miles apart and when I visit she actually turn her head and not even greet me. My feeling that this is rude was validated when my stepfather witnessed it last night.
My mother has always been the peace maker and hates any issues within the family or tension. I am not a person who forgets because normally people repeat their actions or bad habits. My sister in law treats my mother this way as well and it upsets me incredibly. She has given so much to them and my sister in law only likes you if there is something in it for her.
Tomorrow morning, at 5:30 a.m. , my mom goes in the hospital to have part of her lung removed. All the resentment I feel towards my sister in law and partly my brother for the lack of attention and care they give my mom will fade away as we wait together for her recovery.
I have done a lot of reflecting this week about my childhood. Even coming home was very difficult. A lot of bad memories, not many good ones are with me. Most of my childhood was spent behind my bedroom door. I always get anxiety before I visit.
There are a few sweet memories that came back to me the past few days. As I drove into my neighborhood, I saw the ice mixed with snow on the bushes. It brought back the fun and very infrequent "snow days" where I would bravely venture out into the cold to run through the snow covered ground. I remember breaking off the icesicles that hung from the eaves.
I also remembered my mom brushing her lips on my forehead to feel for fever. The way she would wrap my neck in a warm towel with Vicks to help my sore throats and cold as I was forever sick.
The visit has been much better than I expected. I have seen a side of my stepfather that was never present when I was growing up. A kinder and gentler man has emerged as he is faced with her illness and possibility that she may not be here as long as he will be.
We so often are not mindful of the people that we should be taking care of and loving. It may a crisis or loss to bring people to the reality they should have always been living in.
I harbored so much resentment towards my stepfather for my mother's pain and also for the problems his anger and manic personality had on my life even into adulthood. I realized that he is just a man, flawed but still just a man. He is no longer the monster I felt he was because he has taken on more of a caretaker role in my mom's life. She was always that for him before.
The reason I wrote this down was that for me, life is about giving all you have now. So many people wait til it is too late and then they have nothing to give that person because it is over. All the wasted love and energy could have been given to someone that only wanted just that!!
When we are sick, we trust that those trained to heal us will provide the guidance and skills necessary to do just that.. treat and hopefully heal us. What we fail to recognize when we are in a vulnerable, confused and frightened state of mind is that doctors are simply human beings who have more knowledge than we do.
They are neither god nor a higher power that has all the answers. They are also highly capable of making mistakes that can have irreversible and painful consequences for their patients.
What I am referring to is something that happened to my mother last Friday. I will never again have the same reverence for doctors that I did prior to that day.
Approximately six weeks ago, my 76 year old mom was visiting me in Florida. She had decided that she was going to try to come down at least every four months or so. We were starting to get closer.... much closer than we had ever been.
She became sick with a virus a few days after arriving at my home. The following week, I took her to the doctor to make sure she didn't have pneumonia. She also has mild emphysema so I wanted to make sure she did not develop a more serious lung infection.
I asked for an xray which started this entire mess. The xray caused concern and the next day she had a catscan. The radiologist called my mother to tell her that they had found a mass. My mother went immediately to speak to the doctor at the Urgent Care who was very kind and assured her the mass seemed in a very good place to operate. He felt the "tumor" had not spread.
Upon returning to Georgia, she went to see her doctor who referred her to one of the top doctors in Atlanta, in fact the country. People fly from all over the country to see him. He has over 44 years of experience.
The doctor told her that he felt she had cancer and they would do a petscan. The test results showed a "hot spot". He then ordered a brush biopsy. It was inconclusive. It showed Atypical cells but not cancer. He then said the test results indicated malignant cancer and he scheduled surgery.
A week later she was in the hospital to have the top left lobe of her lung removed. I felt so relieved that she was in an excellent hospital in such qualified hands! I was relieved and positive about the outcome. After all, he had assured her that the cancer had not spread and after surgery, she would need no further treatment.
About 3 hours after surgery, the doctor appeared to give us the results. He informed us that she was doing fine and the surgery went well. She did not have cancer. Now wait, didn't the doctor tell her the week before that she had malignant cancer?
I was in shock. I had the initial relief that she was ok and did not have cancer. Then, the reality very quickly clicked in my somewhat dazed brain. What in the hell had just happened? Didn't she have cancer surgery?
I looked at the doctor and said " What happened? What was wrong with her"? He told us that she had a slight inflammation on her lung possibly due to a spot of pneumonia. That he removed it . That the spot had actually shrunk one quarter inch since the last xray.
How does a small bit of inflammation turn into this? Why was a needle biopsy not performed? We asked him "why" and he responded that my mother rejected it when it was offered. I am almost quite certain that was not the case. She was not given the opportunity to reject it.
The doctor further said my mom told him " I just want it out"! Wouldn't you?? We feel that the doctor was so certain in his mind that she had cancer that he didn't do as thorough a job as he should have. Shouldn't he have been the one to rule out the fact that it might not be cancer but scar tissue or something else other than cancer?
There can be really no recourse for this other than my possibly posting his name on the internet. What would that really accomplish?He has saved more lives than hurt I am sure. It won't hurt his career any.
My mother is still lying in this excellent care hospital visited by this "top notch" doctor and feeling such terrible pain that I have a hard time looking at her. You see, she has no clue that this was done for nothing. She thinks she had a successful "cancer" operation. We have not told her and she is still a bit confused becasue of all the medication.
How can you tell someone who is in constant pain that she didn't need surgery? I feel such guilt not telling her, but could not bear to see her very painfully agonizing over this as she recovers. There is plenty of time to be upfront with her.
I am quite certain that this doctor has gone over this case many times since the operation. He apologized to us quite a few times the first day. He showed up at the hospital quite late this evening to check on her and I imagine he feels very badly about what happened. He said the chances of something like this are 1 in 1,000.
My feeling is that when something terrible happens, there has to bring some sort of positive effort to surface.
My goal going forward is to become a very outspoken advocate for informing people that they must get a second opinion when having major surgery. Even the best doctors make mistakes and bad judgement calls.
To illustrate my point ... here are some of this TOP DOC'S credentials:
Professor of Surgery, Division of Cardiothoracic Surgery, Department of Surgery
Honors and Awards
- America's Top Doctors, Castle Connolly, 1992-2006
- Elected Top Doctors in Atlanta by Peer Review, 2005
- Elected to Best Doctors in America for 2004-2005 by peer review for the 10th consecutive time, Woodward/White, Inc.
- Elected 2002 to Best Doctors in America, Woodward/White, Inc., a medical referral service which includes a database of outstanding physicians that are chosen and compiled through peer review
- Named one of the Leading Thoracic Surgeons in Atlanta, Atlanta Magazine, June 1999
- Examiner: American Board of Thoracic Surgery, 1992-2007
- Named one of the Outstanding Physicians in the Country, Princeton University Press, February 1999
- Named one of the Best Doctors in America, American Health Fitness of Body and Mind, March 1996
- Listed in The Best Doctors in America, Doubleday, 1991
- Named one of the Best Cancer Specialists in the U.S. by peer vote, Good Housekeeping Magazine, October l992
- Named one of the Ten Outstanding Thoracic Surgeons in the United States by peer vote, Good Housekeeping Magazine, March, 1991
Clinical and Research Interests
- Lung cancer
- Esophageal cancer
- Esophageal stenosis/strictures
- Photodynamic therapy
- Lung volume reduction
Again, please get a second opinion and most of all ... EMPOWER yourself with knowledge before you schedule any major surgery!
I have decided that I am going to be a more focused person. Really I am !!!! The only thing is that not only do I have Face Blindness, but also have trouble getting places. Sometimes it is from a horrific sense of direction and others from not focusing on where I am going.
Another of my dirty little secrets is that I am ALWAYS late for EVERYTHING. Not normally, but ALWAYS. I push the limit as much as I feel is allowable without losing my job or really ticking people off.
Well, this morning was no different than any other start to my day. I was late getting up due to being online til the wee hours of the morning. I had to be at the doctor at 10 . Now, since I live 35 minutes from the doctor, why shouldn't I leave 25 minutes from the time of my appointment?
I tried so hard to be on time today but didn't make it. My dog couldn't do his pooo in the allotted time I schedule for him. He was rather indignant about it this morning! So what happens when you run late? I wouldn't know. When I am running later than my normal "late" everything normally falls apart.
I missed my exit to Orlando and had to get off in Daytona. Then get back on I-4 to head towards Lake Mary. No problem. That only was putting me behind about 5 minutes or 10. Who was counting? Actually, I was calculating and starting to stress out.
Finally, I did get back on track and headed towards my appointment. Well, I finally arrived at my exit and turned the wrong way off the highway which set me back another whopping 5 minutes.
Alas, I arrived safely and calmly, except for my clenched teeth, a meager 25 minutes late. Do you think it is too late to help me??
I love being in a relationship and feel lost without having someone there that cares for me. What that has done is to allow me to fill my life with people that were not good for me because of the loneliness. Once they sense your insecurities they either take advantage of it or bolt. In my vast experiences with it, they have bolted. I could not see what I had done or why they ran. I didn't think I was overbearing or suffocating. To be honest, I really wasn't however, the minute they pulled back a bit my insecurities surfaced . That is a big turn off for men and most women as well.
I still want to find someone to fill my life with and don' t feel that it is unreasonable to have this desire. I simply don't have that desperate feeling to do it at the pace I once did. Knowing that I am worthwhile now to be of more value than most guys can ever dream of is empowering!!!
Sara - author of dating blogs and articles on relationships.
We create and attract most of the bad things that happen to us. I do say most, not all events that befall us. Some are out of our control. The majority of bad relationships that we get into are with people that are not good for us. Why do we keep attracting the same type of people? Mainly because we keep seeking that same type of person. There are exclusions to this and I recently experienced this so I do say most!
I have recently downsized my friendship base due to the fact that I am trying to keep my life positive and calm. I am hoping for no more panic attacks, chest pains and depression. Tired of feeling that I need to take a pill to calm my self because my heart is racing and I feel as though I am going to have a heart attack. A pro active approach was the answer. We really are the creators of our destiny in most cases and one has to empower himself with positive forward thinking.
So, how do we accomplish this?? Hard work ...what I mean by hard work is that you have to change your mindset and realize that YOU are capable of taking control of your life. That you must make the sometimes difficult decisions to be strong, gain confidence and not feel as though you need someone else to validate how intelligent, beautiful and wonderful you are! Through life's experience most of us have been knocked down and lost our self confidence. Let us work together and find what matters most...... US!!!!